A Crash Course in Plain Legal Language
By Cheryl Stephens
There are three common problems in
writing style for writers of legal discourse:
 |
Overuse of nominalizations |
 |
Overuse of passive verbs |
 |
Focus on exceptions and negatives rather than on basic
principles. |
When a verb is converted to a noun it has been
"nominalized". A nominalization of a verb can be used
as a subject, object, or whatever else a noun is used for. The
problem is the vibrant actions are converted to wooden nouns - an
olympic gymnast becomes a stick man. This makes legal prose heavy
and unclear. Here are some examples:

|
If they had made a decision...<---> If they had
decided... |

|
The Court, in its ruling, held that...<---> The Court
ruled... |
Passive verbs take the opposite tack to active verbs. With
active verbs, the subject of the sentence is the actor or doer.
With passive verbs, the thing done becomes the subject of the
sentence and has something done to it. Here are two sentences,
one passive, one active:

|
The lawyer was punished by the Benchers by suspension.
<---> The Benchers suspended the lawyer. |
In The Transitive Vampire, Karen Gordon comments on the use of
passive voice constructions:
"Take it easy on the passive voice. It's too
tired to be overused.
ACTIVE: The Grandee bullied the bum.
PASSIVE: The bum was bullied by the grandee.
ACTIVE: The nymphs dished it out.
PASSIVE: It was dished out by the nymphs.
When the person who did it or does it (whatever it is or
was) is unknown or unimportant to the sense of the sentence, you
may avail yourself of the passive voice.
The faux pas was ignored for several days.
Her crimes have been absolved.
The grub was grudgingly passed around.
The roadhouse was ransacked in the middle of the moonless
night."
Another legal habit is putting the things that negate or form
exceptions or limitations to the front of the sentence or
paragraph. The main point - the basic principle - is relegated to
the back of the line. This is the opposite of how people think
and it makes comprehension difficult. Make your reader
comfortable by driving your point home first. Also avoid putting
things negatively. Restate in a positive construction.
We didn't do more than this. <---> We did this.
There are many published lists of maxims for how to write
better, simpler and more clearly. Pick the one you like best and
post it above your work space.
© 1995 by Cheryl Stephens
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